A cartomante (e a jukebox)

Fui numa cartomante. Isso me lembra a música de Elis - que, se não me engano, é composição do Ivan Lins. Cai o rei de espadas, cai o rei de ouros, cai o reu de paus, cai não fica nada. Caiu o rei de espadas e verdade seja dita - não ficou nada.

Me perguntou qual era o homem da minha vida. Disse meu pai, claro. No geral, é sempre ele - até acharmos aquele quase impossível em pleno século XXI amor pra toda vida que dizem não existir em São Paulo (esse foi o Crioulo?).

Jamais imaginei ser você, carta virada em minha vida, depois de tantos dias que já viraram anos (quem de nós dois diria, não é mesmo?). Nem de pau e muito menos ainda de ouro. É de espada. Só um punhal pra explicar a dor sentida na hora que o baralho disse que era você, o homem da minha vida. A figura masculina mais importante de toda a minha existência. Se é certo ou não, só é Deus quem sabe. Mas meu coração insistiu em pular e as lágrimas insistiram tanto - teimosas iguais a dona dos olhos -  que caíram.

Acabei de ler um texto sobre o porquê de haver amores que nunca se vão. Confesso que queria a resposta em algum tipo de pílula, livro, poção mágica; o que vier tá valendo. A escrita não me ajudou e muito menos minhas caraminholas ao pensar no assunto. Só sei dizer que, citando o Rei Roberto, você foi o maior dos meus casos, o melhor dos meus erros e das lembranças que carrego na vida: a saudade que eu gosto de ter.

Voltando lá pro Ivan (Elis, Ivan, Crioulo, Roberto Carlos... dentro de mim tem uma jukebox e ela anda sozinha sem pedir permissão pra passar)... eu acho que já estava escrito e já estava previsto. Por todas as videntes e cartomantes.

Inclusive o fato de cair e não ficar nada.

Se eu devo esquecer de tentar te esquecer? Talvez.
Talvez existam lutas na vida que sejam em vão. Nós só nos acostumamos àquela dorzinha no fim do dia, que vai ficando cada vez menos intensa, miúdinha, quase insignificante. Mas está sempre ali e quando menos esperamos ela aparece pra nos lembrar: você está se enganando, meu bem. Isso aí é autoproteção, é ego, é medo.

E eu me pergunto: medo de me permitir viver outros amores? Medo de te perder de vez (mesmo sabendo que nunca o tive)? Medo de não ser amada como fui em seus braços? Talvez.

Conjecturas. Diante de tantas situações hipotéticas, tento ter paciência.
E acreditar que Deus está comigo. E conosco, até o pescoço.

A song for Sharon

So yes, this post will be, again, about Sharon Corr (and the Corrs).
But first, push play here.


As you all know, Brazilians fans of the Corrs had a blast last year. As I wrote on other posts, Sharon was so special and kind to us, we couldn’t believe. Since we first found out that she was coming to a gig, we were as happy as we could be. During her stay in Brazil, Dani Max (Dani Figueiredo) had this idea to make a documentary about how The Corrs changed our lives. We made friends, we made music, we made a whole different scenario for our lives – and that’s because their music inspired us. Take a look at the video:

I’m a lucky gal who has amazing friends. They are all excellent musicians and after everything Sharon has done for us in a period of sixty days, she inspired them to compose an original song, not only for the documentary, but for the amazing person she is.

First of all, we don’t live in the same city. Some are from Minas Gerais, others from São Paulo and Rio de Janeiro. We were together for the shows in October – and just a few hours before her last gig in Brazil, the boys wrote the music. After that, we had some online brainstormings and just two days to get together in a studio to make the harmonies, arrangements, etc. I don’t play anything, as mentioned before. Maybe a couple of tunes on tin whistle, but that’s it. And I was/am SO honored to be in this project! To have such wonderful people encouraging me to keep going and do my best. I was able to give opinions, to see the song being born, being created, growing… and that’s an unique feeling! I don’t have any words to describe my gratitude to all of you.

Rique, Dani, Ivo and Rafa: you guys did an amazing job with everything. Your talent is immeasurable and I can’t stop talking about you four and how proud I am of each of you.

Together with the boys; Ana, Vivian, Graciele, Dani and me put the music together during an evening so we could record the day after. Sounds crazy, but that was it! That inspiration was phenomenal, and I honestly do not have any word to describe this feeling we all have inside of us.

Like Daniel said it earlier today – it’s not only about Sharon’s or Corrs’ inspiration to us. It’s about friendship, it’s about knowing what the other one is feeling by the look in their eyes. And like Sharon said herself, we can never ignore something like that in life. It’s too precious.

The documentary shows exactly how we feel about this whole journey that has been going on since the early 90’s: it’s not about fanaticism. It’s all about inspiration, admiration, gratitude, love. How a melody can talk directly to our hearts and make a life worth living. Music pushes us forward. Music makes us believe in a better place. When we are there, we are most definitely not in this world. It’s a completely different scenario with completely different realities. A reality we wish to be true everyday – which is peace among each other’s, honesty in what we do and mostly love for what we are blessed to have in life.

Now I’m gonna tell ya’ll a short story. My story.

I had this whole life planned for 2013. I was finally fulfilling a longtime dream to live abroad. Not exactly where I wanted (Europe - I was going to the USA), but it was one of my goals in life while I’m in my mid-twenties. It all seemed to be perfect – the place, the people, the trips I was dreaming to do… but it all went wrong. No need for details, but what it was supposed to last a year, lasted only a month. I got back to Brazil with no hope. And I tried my best to make every day count – even if I wasn’t feeling good. And I did.

This specific dream was not complete. But I have to admit… Life/destiny/God/name-whatever-you-prefer-here is tricky. And it’s fair and lovely. I was lucky enough to not only fulfill one dream, but a lot of them. I got to meet one of my inspirational artist face to face, I got to record a song with amazing friends, I got to see the gig I always wanted in life. Not to mention the interview that Sharon kindly gave it to us after her last show – Max, I’ll never be able to thank you enough for letting me be there with you. I could never in my life imagine a moment like that and it was… It’s almost unreal.

But most importantly: I got a chance to be closer to amazing friends.

My dear O’Family, you have no idea what you guys did for me. You all are beautiful people with gigantic hearts and that is all about life. Having people to hold your hand, making you believe you can do anything you want – you just have to be passionate about it. You taught me that in the most beautiful way, and woke me up to a life I've always wanted, but never thought I was good enough for it. You guys became my inspiration to keep going with life – even when I don’t want to get out of bed.

Thank you for showing me the path to happiness.
To truly believe that life, as the Corrs once said it in a song, is borrowed heaven, and we’ll have to give it back someday. And while we are here… breath like everyday is our last.

Thank you.